Date:23rd June 1989
Dear Diary,
I saw there were student-led popular demonstrations in Tiananmen square, Beijing on TV yesterday. My father wanted me to see what was going on in Beijing. I thought this was a waste of time since I don't care much about China. But I have learned one thing yesterday, that China isn't a free country.
Tiananmen square demonstrations still continues today. Almost every channel on TV is reporting about demonstrations in Beijing so I could not watch my favorite music video. Instead of nice music, I heard screams of panicking people who were shot, arrested, or hit by trucks. I cried as I saw many dead bodies in front of me. To be honest, I have never seen anything worse than this. While I cried, my thoughts about China had changed. I now have sympathy for China and worry about Chinese people unlike yesterday when I had no interest in what was going on in China. Moreover, surprisingly even to myself, I also became worried about my genetic mother, Chun-mei. Therefore, I asked my dad whether Yanghou is close to Beijing to know whether my genetic mother was alright. This was the first time I could call her name without anger.
I now want to know more about my past in China and I want to see my genetic mother Chun-mei. This is all that I can think and care about right now. This change shows that I can now face the facts about my past, instead of just feeling gloomy about rejecting any connections with my country of birth, China.
Grace
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